Are you feeling Alone bro?

Hey there,

Missed me? (I hope)

I know I haven’t sent any newsletter in a month. But hear me out. I have been going through some things that I haven’t and can’t share with anybody (yes, and I realised, THAT IS LIFE, which is sad)

But writing is a good way for me to just…..breathe. 😮‍💨

I’ve been in a kind of philosophical, inward looking, finding myself journey since January of this year (actually, slightly before that) and I cut off everyone and everything that I realised were not the best things for me.

This caused a HUGE hole in my social circle and my time.

I frantically searched for the next hit of pleasure of talking to someone I know or filling my time with something that is not actually good for me. I was doing this till March of this year. 😔

But when my birthday turned up on March, I got to sit by myself during the night (which turned out to be a really good thing). I was up till 4 A.M. just writing my heart out and staring at a wall in my dimly lit orange and blue room.

I realised that unless and until I was comfortable sitting by myself, nothing ever changes. You will always feel the numbness if you don’t enjoy your own company.

And then came April (where I completely ignored my newsletter lol). I was happy the whole month.

I was so clear in my head as to what I was thinking, and why I was thinking certain things. This helped me to discard all the negative thoughts I usually have. I was self-aware of my thoughts. 🧠

Apart from going out with friends during the weekend, I amused myself by doing small things I don’t do usually, such as helping out with house tasks, going to the park, reading fiction, learning about sculpting (which I’m interested in at the moment) and more.

At places where I would usually be tensed or anxious, I was utterly calm and relaxed. 😌

I went on a couple of dates with this nice woman in April, we were chill, I was so relaxed at all times, but I didn’t think it would work out, so I told her about it (which is a BIG deal for me, cause I’m VERY BAD at saying No)

But If I had been my old self, I would have been too anxious, a Bad Yes Man, and I would have regretted the dates. But instead, I enjoyed every one of them.

I have been a broken record to every one of my friends who come up to me with a problem they have.

I say, write out what you are thinking, in detail, without any filters, and read it. You will see what the issue is and most of the times, you will know what you have to do to fix it.

So whatever stage you are at in your life, I would say learning to write and to enjoy your own company, or rather, just being comfortable by yourself is a useful tool to have and develop.

Got more to talk about in the coming newsletters.

Go on and have a good week. Tata!

Best,

Kapil.