Growing and Outgrowing

Visualize yourself in the most social period of your life.

You're around dozens of people, you share stories, you laugh, you tease, you make connections.

How many of the 1000’s of people you've met are you still in touch with?

Would you still be the same if you meet them again? Would you still share the same stories, the same talking points, the same yadayada?

If you answer yes, then ask yourself,

Have you not changed at all? Have you not grown personally?

I just had a random thinking session about this;

I have seen, met and talked to 1000’s of people in my adult life (when I was 20 years and above)

Some I stay in touch with, some I became friends with, some I fell in love with.

But at all stages, one thing was constant.

Change.

Especially the ones I realised in myself.

You grow along with people you come across and you share similar and familiar experiences with them. It makes you comfortable and builds trust.

But at some point, in a lot of cases, you realise that you've outgrown a huge chunk of the people you've met.

But what does outgrown mean?

It means, you don't have the same interest you had in conversing with them. They don't attract you or interest you anymore. It could be because they still have the same talking points, they bring in more drama, they haven't developed any interests that you share mutually, and they haven't grown as a person.

Do I stop talking to them? I don't know. But a lot of em’ are good folks you still like spending time with.

(Maybe I should stop talking?)

But you feel disinterest. They feel like a part of who you were. Not who you are and are becoming.

Now, Conversely...

There are certain people you'd like to grow old with.

Grow your greys together. Both friends and lovers.

These are rare gems I have in my life and am finding along my journey.

They keep up with who you are becoming. How?

I think it's because they realise that you can learn from your mistakes and not repeat them again in a deeper sense that most.

I think they too understand that everybody else is trying to make the best of their own lives and don't judge too harshly the actions of people.

They have a broader sense of life in general.

What am I tryna say? Again, I don't know.

I just had a thought last week about how much people can grow in a short time and outgrow the mistakes they have made when it comes to people and relationships.

And at the same time, I felt grateful about being able to choose who to ‘Grow Grey Together’ with.

It's fascinating to understand that everybody is facing similar problems and challenges in their lives (regardless of if they think they have it worse) and how different/or same they all come of our those problems and challenges.

Some remain the same with minimal growth and some go through rapid understanding of how to deal with life.

And maybe if I focus more on not repeating the same mistakes, don't judge people too harshly on their faults, develop true interest and passion, maybe I could meet even more people who have a broader vision for life than 99% of the population?

It's truly just fascinating.

That's what I wanted to write about today.

Best,

Kapil.