My Love Letters

When I write these small letters,

I’m not writing it to my “newsletter subscribers” nor am I writing it to a “group of people”.

I’m really writing it for

you.

You know the old stories where the romantic sends out letters to his lover with a pigeon or a dove? Well I try to do that using emails. 💌

I like to think of these letters as a personal conversation between two people that only they can read.

With that said,

The first half of the year 2024 has been nicer than the last half of 2023. Which I’d say is an improvement.

I’ve deliberately been doing some things for the last 6 months and they seem to have some positive impact and negative impact on my social life.

1. I’ve stopped giving myself idle times (not completely, but by a LOT)

Meaning, if I have a free chunk of time somewhere in the day, I try to do something during that time rather than sitting and scrolling through my phone.

 Positives : I feel more in control of my time. I have stopped using my phone a lot (except when I’m in bed). I’ve read 4 fiction books (which I usually don’t read). I’ve improved my health to an extent.

 Negatives : Every-time I get on a call with anyone, I’m in the middle of doing something which makes me super distracted, makes me talk super fast, lose my train of thought etc. I miss the sitting and staring at a wall part of the day. That’s all the negatives I guess.

2. I’ve been more upfront about my thoughts and opinions (when asked)

Meaning, I leaned more to the people-pleasing side for a majority of my adult life (till 23 I’d say). But the last 2 years, and especially for the last 6 months, I’ve started to be more upfront about things I want and need and about my opinion on things without worrying too much about what others think.

 Positives : Life has become so much more adventurous. I respect myself more for learning the skill to be open. I ‘think’ people have started to take my opinions and thoughts seriously. I’m more clearer and calmer about situations because I know where I stand.

 Negatives : My sorry ass being a people pleaser it is, still feels the sting when being ‘confrontational’ with people. That’s it.

3. Stopped talking when I know the other person isn’t listening.

I’ve realised that even when people look like they are listening and giving you their full attention, they’re really not. Because when you say something to someone (when they ask you for advice) once, twice or thrice and they still behave the same way, then you stop talking.

Why? Because you waste a significant amount of time on them when they aren’t willing to use any of their time on themselves.

 Positives : I get the ‘I told you so’ card but I never use it. I save energy and mental space. I have time to focus on other things.

 Negatives : I genuinely feel sorry for them and still want to help out.

I hope your 6 months of 2024 has been nicer. And I’m sure the next 6 months are gonna be even better. Although we don’t have a “conversation”, I like that you read these letters and gain something from them.

Have a beautiful week.

Best,

Kapil.